Conflicts often generate such emotional condition in which it is difficult to think, do conclusions, to approach creatively to the problem permission. At the permission of a conflict situation adhere to following rules.
1. Remember that in the conflict at the person the reason dominates not, and emotion that conducts to affect when the consciousness is simply disconnected, and the person is not responsible for the words and acts for which subsequently happens is insulting and it is inconvenient. Therefore from business dialogue it is necessary to eliminate judgments and the estimations, derogating from advantage of the interlocutors, patronizing judgments and estimations, the ironical remarks stated with feeling of badly latent superiority or neglect.
2. Aspire to a valid manner of conversation. Such phrases as «I Ask to excuse», I "Will be very grateful", «If it does not complicate you», interfere with formation at the opponent of internal resistance, remove negative emotions.
3. Aspire to conduct discussion not concerning positions occupied with the parties, and on the substance of a problem, being based on objective criteria. Try to listen to the interlocutor, as ability to listen - one of criteria of skill to communicate.
4. Adhere to the multialternative approach and, insisting on the offer, do not reject the partner offer, ask itself a question «is better And unless I never am mistaken» Try to listen to both offers and look, they will bring what sum of benefits and losses in the near future and then.
5. Realize the importance of the resolution of conflict for itself, having asked a question «That will be, if the exit is not found» It will allow to transfer the centre of gravity from relations on a problem.
6. If you and your interlocutor Irritation also are aggressive, it is necessary to lower internal pressure, to "exhaust". But to be discharged on associates is not an exit, and a trick. But if so it has turned out, that have lost the control over itself, try to make the only thing: become silent; instead of demand it from the partner. Avoid ascertaining of negative emotional conditions of the partner.
7. Suggest the interlocutor to rise on your place and ask: «If you were on my place that you would make?» It removes a critical spirit and switches the interlocutor from emotions to judgment.
8. Do not exaggerate the merits and do not show superiority signs. Do not accuse and do not attribute only to the partner responsibility for the arisen situation.
9. Irrespective of results of resolution of conflicts try not to destroy the relation.
Many researches are spent to psychology on studying of possibilities of individual and group psycho correction of disputed behavior. We will result some of methods, receptions thanks to which it is possible to remove stress, to be released from irritation and anger.
Switching on other kind of activity - it is connected with the impellent activity demanding physical pressure thanks to which adrenaline is burnt. So, if be on work, be engaged in activity any kind: touch papers; water flowers; make tea; rearrange a table; pass some times in fast rate on a corridor; come into a toilet room and take 4 5 minutes of a hand under cold water; approach to a window and look at the sky, trees. If be houses try to leave on the street and to run about or resemble in fast rate of 10-15 minutes; take a contrast shower; wash up accumulated ware. Try to practice the given method as it is possible is more often during those moments when feel that lose self-checking. Then the given way will become at you a habit. Besides, try at least once a week to be engaged in business which pleases you, calms and brings satisfaction.
Visualization - mentally express the feelings and experiences or something make to the person who has caused negative reaction. It is comprehensible, if cannot give vent to the irritation, for example, on the head or if assume, that your anger only will worsen and without that an intense situation. As a result will achieve clearing of anger, anything thus not risking.
"Grounding" - present: the anger is included into you from the opponent as a bunch of negative energy. Then imagine, as this energy is released in feet and freely leaves in the earth.
«Reduction of the opponent in growth» - imagine, that during dialogue your opponent so decreases in growth that its voice thus all turns to a dirt lump in which can come, and becomes weaker and weaker. As a result it will seem less considerable and influential.
"Mood" - take color felt-tip pens or pencils and the weakened left hand start to draw any drawing: lines, stains, figures, etc. Try to plunge completely into the experiences, i.e. to choose and spend lines according to the mood, as though materializing on a paper the experiences. Having sketched all sheet of paper, turn it and on an underside write 8-10 words reflecting your mood (experience). Write those words which the first occur. Then once again look at drawing, as though anew worrying the condition, re-read words and it is vigorous, with pleasure break off it, crumple scraps and throw out in a garbage can. Together with the thrown out drawing you get rid of bad mood and find calm.
«The internal beam» - a method can be used at an initial stage of irritation when self-checking infringement comes, psychological contact in dialogue disappears, and there is alienation. For its performance it is necessary to relax and present following pictures. In the top part there is a light beam which moves from top to down and slowly shines the person, a neck, and shoulders, hands with warm, equal and pleasant light. In process of beam movement wrinkles are smoothed, pressure in the field of a nape disappears, folds on a forehead are weakened, "fall down" eyebrows, eyes "are cooled", clips in corners of lips are weakened, shoulders fall, the neck and a breast are released. The light internal beam creates appearance of the new quiet, confident and safe person.
«My house» («my room») - for realization of this exercise it is necessary to sit down, relax and start to build in imagination the favorite house or a room with a kind on small river, lake, wood or somewhere else. Arrange it as you want, present the favorite armchair. Remember it and mentally leave in it to have a rest at any time within day. "Having stayed" in it of 5-7 minutes, you will feel inflow of forces.
Wonder: «I can take what lesson from this situation to be prepared (oh) to similar cases in the future? How I can get a self-trust if I will face a similar case again» Such approach will help to be released from negative emotions as will learn to arrive competently in similar situations and to avoid stress.
Here we have listed some methods. Choose the most comprehensible to itself. Their regular use will lead to that the anger and irritation will leave you, and a conflict situation and the opponent can seem the insignificant. They will help you to pass productively through crisis and to feel more counterbalanced and quiet.
No comments:
Post a Comment