Development of self-esteem and confident behaviour.

Propensity to excessive generalisations is feature of the human perception, able to become the reason of erroneous judgements and to be a source created by the person to itself of problems.


If you on the unique situation judge almost all life, you are inclined to excessive generalisation. An example of such erroneous thinking - the far-reaching conclusions followed from one concrete unsuccessful event. So concrete painful experience of type «I (it) do not like it» can be generalised before representation: «I am not capable (to like someone in general». By means of such generalisation one unpleasant experience expands to space scale, becomes a nutrient medium for cultivation in itself of inferiority complexes, giving of "labels" of the preconvinced relation to a life and, eventually, the absolute obstacle for achievement of vital success turns in perfect.


If in your life there was a concrete negative event, you can concern it doubly: or to consider as its separate episode, or to consider it as an indicator of your value («I on what is not capable»), values of a life («the life is disgusting») and all unpleasant situations («here so always happens»).


Seldom happens, that the person was happy and successful, if it considers a life as unique experience.


Absolutely other approach is shown by those who concerns a life as to an infinite chain of experiences. They understand changeability of destiny and constantly feel, what not all is lost. Instead of adhering to dogmas, they constantly search for new ways.


Making mistakes from which nobody is insured, you can tell: «I was mistaken (have failed)». Recognising the concrete admitted miscalculation, you give yourselves possibility in due time to make the amendment to a direction of your further movement. But if you speak: «I am a loser», - it is a question any more that you have made, and, how, in your opinion, the error has characterised you, what it has made you. Such approach does not bring advantage, does not promote training, and only fixes misses and miscalculations, transforming them in complexes of your character.


Remember that your errors is a result only your actions, instead of you. You can do errors, but do not suppose, that errors "did" you. If you do something and do not receive desirable result, do it differently. If you do not know, how - ask, read, study, search for variants. Using the research approach, you soon will come across that will work. But such possibility will never be presented to you, if from the very beginning you assure yourselves what to make anything it is impossible. Do not connect representation about itself with a victory or defeat in a concrete situation. Be active and assured, respect itself and let's to itself run into despair and apathy because of sensation of eternal failures.


Your state of health and personal activity are corner stones of ability to be guided in the life by own force. In it a success basis. There is no necessity to frighten or intimidate people, however, leaning on force, you will force many to reckon with your importance simply because believe in it all soul and are guided by this belief in the actions.


All set of the reasons which are not allowing you to be guided by force, is connected with transformation of your negative experience in the general law and with fear of that, «that happens, if...». Thus, you promote that the fear has paralysed your activity. But what such fear and whence it undertakes? As writes in the book «To be free» doctor Dajer: «If in one perfect day you go on purpose to bring home a small basket of fears how much you went, you will return with empty hands. It is impossible to find what is not present. You create fear own hands, indulging in shy thoughts and frightening expectations. Anything in the world cannot cause you a pain while you will not allow it».


If before something to undertake, you always try to be reserved by sufficient number of guarantees, to you never to become successful. The future gives to nobody of any guarantees. Therefore, to receive from a life everything, that wish, it is necessary to reject all defeatist thoughts somewhat quicker. Almost all your fears are the cleanest water of error. Tragedies which you to yourselves imagine, seldom happen actually. One ancient wise man has told: «I the old person also have seen set of troubles in the life, the majority from which was not».


Just as the child is afraid of darkness, you are afraid of what is not present, as though what is not present, the most terrible thing which can occur to you.


To be convinced of that to you nothing to be afraid, do the following experiment. Right now address to that you now more all is afraid: somewhere not to get, something not to achieve, something to lose and so on. And now reflect that terrible in your life can occur, if of what you are afraid, really happens. The method of "worst" perfectly shows absurdity of the majority of fears.


Every time when you catch yourselves that are paralysed by fear or are enslaved, ask yourself a question: «Whence it undertakes?». The first, that will come on mind, will be: "Anywhere". The auto-suggestion mechanism, and how you dispose of it Here works, it lifts you on world and prosperity top or dumps to bottom in poverty and misfortunes.


When you do not have internal feeling of self-esteem, you are taken prisoner perceptions you other people and you can easily allow to suppress to these people you. In turn, it can call many negative consequences, for example, you will not achieve and consequently will not receive what you wish to achieve in a life. Then, if you do not feel confidence of the advantages, you will estimate yourselves more low and as will receive less - less money, profit less, smaller prestige, it is less than force, least, everything, in all spheres of a life.


And on the contrary, when you direct possibilities of forces of your mind on self-trust and self-esteem creation, you not only will feel yourselves is better, but also to receive much more everything, that you want. You will achieve it, you will feel, that deserve it, and other people also will agree with it. You the position will pass these thoughts and when other people will catch your thoughts, to them there will be nothing how to agree.


There are many people who are ready, want and are capable to take away from you that by right belongs to you. It can be your energy; it can be your vital space; it can be your inalienable law to think, feel and believe in something definitely. Why you should facilitate it this problem? What for to leave the windows opened for thieves? As soon as you will have force and resoluteness to believe, that you deserve what want, in only case when you will be resolute enough to tell: «my time, now my turn Has come; it - for me, and I demand it here and right now».


To you, probably, it is necessary to overcome shyness, feeling of fault and own shyness. You deserve the best; you can have more. Demand what you want also that you are worthy, because anybody will not make it for you. Nobody will approach and will not demand a place for you. If it is not made by you, will occur nothing. Readiness, boldness and courage to demand what you want, - the main component of achievement of vital success.


The belief in the possibilities helps you to receive the practical experience confirming this belief. For example, if you are convinced, that will get certain job or increase, you will radiate confidence and to operate so as if you have this job and then people will represent you in this role. Besides, having this belief, you will be convinced, that can make everything, that is required, and can make it. And soon you will find out, that have this job because you create a reality reflecting your belief. But, if you do not have not enough internal feeling of a self-trust, any luck and favorable circumstances will not give you sensation of own force, which is necessary for you to force circumstances to take the turn necessary to your.


Many passive people do not wish to be assured as are afraid, that their behaviour will be apprehended as aggressive. Aggressive people are afraid often, that insufficient aggression from their party will be apprehended as passivity. The confident behaviour is a desirable golden mean but how you distinguish one from another?


The purpose of confident behaviour - fairly, effectively and directly to express the thoughts, feelings, desires and belief. Behaving confidently, you defend own rights, not breaking thus the rights of associates.


The purpose of aggressive behaviour - to dominate. The people behaving aggressively, defend the rights at the expense of other people.


The purpose of passive behaviour - to please associates, to avoid the conflict, to be perceived by associates as the pleasant person and to hide own feelings. The people behaving passively, hold the opinion at themselves and do not defend the legitimate rights. As a result of their right often are restrained by other people.


It is based on opinion, that other people will not like someone's confident behaviour. Researches deny this belief and actually show the return. The majority of people will want to deal with the confident person, rather than with the uncertain more likely. Extremely annoyingly to be near to the person who in any way does not express the preferences. Think, for example, over never-ending routine at attempts to calculate where to go to have dinner or what cinema to look, when someone one or several persons in the company will take one: «As want», - being are asked, that they would like. The majority of people will prefer not to be engaged in reading of thoughts, guessing that you want, that like and what require.


If will exhaust the mind doubts and disbelief in own ability to a feat the auto-suggestion mechanism will be apprehended in the spirit of disbelief, will take places in your subconsciousness in the form of prevailing thought and slowly, but will correctly start turning you in a roundabout of failures. But if you fill the mind with a self-trust, the auto-suggestion mechanism will support this belief, and it becomes your prevailing thought conducting on top of success.


Use auto-suggestion for self-development and transformation of in positive, dynamical and relying in all on itself the person.


Napoleon Hill recommends the following formula of auto-suggestion which we have a little changed and are ready to subscribe under it.


The first. I know, that is capable to achieve the specific goal, therefore I demand from myself the persevering, persistent and continuous actions directed on achievement of this purpose.


The second. I understand, that thoughts dominating in my head eventually will be realised into action and transformed to a reality and consequently I will daily concentrate on a problem of transformation of in the person to whom is intended to become, mentally representing itself such person, and to transform representation into a reality by means of practical affairs.


The third. I have accurately developed and have fixed the description of my specific goal in a life on coming ten thousand days. I have made the list have put on every year which I am going to to carry out, to achieve vital success.


The fourth. I will become successful by attraction to myself of forces which I will use, and also by means of cooperation with other people. I stimulate others for rendering to me the help as to the first I will render them service. I will get rid of hatred, envy, jealousy and cynicism, cultivating love and respect for all people as I know, that the uncooperative altitude to another never will bring to me of success. I will give to people of the basis to believe in me for I will believe in them and in myself.


So you develop the fighting character which gives you real force. Character is something such that not to elicit, not to steal and not to buy. It can be developed only, and to develop it it is possible own thoughts and acts and in any way differently.


By means of auto-suggestion any person can create to itself reliable character, irrespective of own past. As a pertinent conclusion it would be desirable to underline that circumstance, that all who possesses character, in a sufficient measure possess both enthusiasm, and own person that to them other people lasted.


Character is bearing "core" of your person, moving in a direction to success. If it is weak, you risk to degrade before position of "toy" in "hands" of numerous internal and external influences to which does not resist anything strong-willed. This pity existence, all life proceeding under the influence of uncontrollable influences. Its result - the person, not pursuing own purposes and the ideals, constantly dissatisfied and unsatisfied, never achieving vital success and not comprehended meaning of the life.


Absolutely other course of life of the person with strong character. Though and it is influenced by various factors, it can effectively resist to them will displays. Such person moves on a life as the ice breaker through fields of fragile ice, easy meeting struggles of life and losses. That for other people is misfortune, the tragedy, full disorder of all life, for it only an occasion to actions, to quiet and purposeful job. For it there are no desperate situations and the unattainable purposes. Month from a month its will power all becomes more powerful, and thinking - more and more quiet and clear. There are possibilities for awakening of deeper spheres internal "I".


The life of such person proceeds under its own scenario. It it is responsible and with understanding concerns the life and holds it in the hands.


Your destiny is defined by you. You have only that force which have drawn in the imagination.


The world round you is that, to what you represent it. Your perception of the world is painted by colour of your thoughts.