PLAER

Monday, July 7, 2008

Self-esteem.

The first component of self-esteem is purely emotional element, that as well as that you feel about yourselves, separately and without dependence from someone or something else. The second component of your self-esteem is defined by level of competence felt as you that you do. It how you imagine, how much well you cope with the important areas of the life. It is called as the self-esteem which is based on achievements, and it is an essential element of your person.


When you feel, that are strong in the area that is good with it consult, you enjoy high self-esteem. This feeling strengthens other components of self-esteem, your sensation of own importance. If you well do business, you feel well; if you feel well, you well do business. One depends on another.


Owing to that that your personal mutual relations are basic in your life that you could enjoy not passing feeling of self-esteem, you should know in the heart that the positive, healthy and constructive mutual relations sated with love with other person are capable to enter and support.


The sensation of deficiency or incompetence in the mutual relations with others undermines your self-esteem and self-confidence. Your success in mutual relations with the important person for you strengthens your self-esteem. Success of dialogue with others forces you to feel more competent and finished and liberates you for prosperity in other areas of your life.


There is a direct interrelation between quality of your mutual relations and your level of self-esteem and self-approval. You can like yourselves only in such degree in what you completely approve yourselves, and that, how much you like yourselves, in the big degree is defined by that, how much you - as feel - are approved by other people.


The majority of us grows at conditional approval, and is frequent and at aversion and condemnation from our parents. Becoming adults, we search unconditional love and approval from others and mainly from one especial person to compensate what as we feel, have been deprived in the childhood. Our mental health depends on it.


Self-approval


You never can sincerely test liking to until have approved yourself completely, have not agreed yet with the both strong lines, and weaknesses. And the key to approval itself - in was one more person certainly approved at least whom you respect also which admire and even, moreover, - which love. Only when someone another accepts you «unvarnished and completely», you can relax and accept yourselves as the considerable and standing person.


Consciousness


To test self-approval, you at first should develop consciousness. You need to understand, why you think, feel and operate how it is. It is necessary for you to realise influence of forming experience of your life. It is necessary for you to understand, as well as why you became such person whom be today.


Only when you will reach high level of consciousness, you can move to higher level of self-approval. Before can approve yourself, you should realise is better who you are actually. And only possessing high level of self-approval, you can enjoy self-esteem - a key to were the happy, healthy person.


Self-disclosing


The consciousness, in turn, is based on self-disclosing. You can correctly understand yourselves only in such degree in what are capable to reveal or share about itself with even at least one person. Corresponding self-disclosing means, that you can tell to someone else to whom you completely trust, that you think and feel, not being afraid of disapproval or aversion.


The psychotherapy is based on self-disclosing. Psychotherapists achieve success in such degree in what they can force to reveal the patient and precisely to tell it, that has served as the reason of that they are unhappy or unlucky.


One psychologist has told recently: «If everyone has really learnt to listen to other people, 75 percent of psychotherapists in the United States, since the next Wednesday, would appear without work». Fairly to open itself to other person, you should trust this another. You need to know, that other person cares of you and that it will not condemn you or to blame for something, that you have told or have made in the past.


The great emotional problem of the XX-th century is a fault. The feeling of fault arises from the sensation of an otioseness appearing as a result of the destructive criticism and errors which as you feel, have made in the past. The majority of us have made or things for which regret have told. We hurt other people, and we regret for it. We can start to release ourselves from these negative sensations that we will tell to somebody to another that we did or spoke. This form of clarification, releases us and all rest of our life allows us to get on with itself. The repentance not only is useful, but also it is essential as a hobby, to long happiness.


Fair self-disclosing sometimes happens terrible. It demands, that you have undertaken effort which does you vulnerable. But it is the basic requirement for mental health. When you openly and fairly open the thoughts and feelings to other person, you understand yourselves is better. You realise more clearly, who you are actually, see yourself and the life in the best prospect.


So far as you become more self-conscious, you become and more self-approving. When you certainly approve yourselves, you enjoy higher level of a self-estimation and self-esteem. You feel is better in all that you do. You release yourselves from negative sensations which can constrain you and keep down. Thanking caмopaскрытию you can remove weight from heart and live in a harmony with yourselves.

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