Training of nerves and feelings.

First of all think, what stirs to your psychological comfort? Remember five precepts, helping with a life and job.


1. Wake up for itself. If all of you time give only to business you are the dead, mechanical person-automatic machine. You do not live, and exist. Remember that you live in the business world, but not only for business.


2. Feel the live world. If you have forgotten, as new-mown hay smells or the stream murmurs, means, your sense organs are dimmed by a veil of other, lifeless world - the world of symbols and figures. Erase this veil and look at the live world not through a prism of money, and through a soul prism.


3. Divide your condition of the house and at job. The majority of businessmen, leaving office, continue to think about business, that is, on a being, to conduct a business life. The richest person of the world Aristotle Onassis repeated, that at job it is necessary to be another, than houses. If you can divide sincere "I" into two half remain the owner of the soul and no losses in business will break it. It is a guarantee of your mental health.


4. Actively work over itself. If you have noticed, that your mental condition has changed because of weariness, quarrel or unpleasant news, try to restore it as soon as possible. It is better to patch an organism on the move, than to wait, when it will break. Your vital position in relation to itself should be active. Wins the prepared. Is better to use the philosophy of contemplation extended among the Japanese businessmen and to try not to notice as though stresses, easier to behold them. Remember, in the world there is no bad weather, there are only people badly perceiving it. Operate are one of the best ways to calm down.


5. Learn to worry business crises. Imagine, that your present crisis is an illness of your growth. Crisis will disappear, and your life proceeds. As though hard was, do not give in to a panic. Whether and so your damage is great? And can be, in a year you look at this situation other eyes and will tell, what it was necessary to begin all at first? And in five years, probably, it will not have at all for you value.


Exercises


Psychological training offered by the Russian psychologists (in our updating) will be revealed, how much you by the skilful and thoughtful partner in various kinds of business contacts, and will relieve you of many lacks. If this or that exercise is given hardly, he should be repeated repeatedly. You stop such training only after the specific feeling will disappear: «to me it is difficult». Psychological training switches on following exercises:


1. «A smile of the businessman». In what mood you would not wake up, detain a sight at the person in a mirror and make a smile which will be attractive to you and your partners. If it is impossible, keep in mind, that people can perceive you as haughty or even the malicious person, will not reach for you. You, probably, do not manage dialogue at game level, and so, you happen tiresomely boring. Certainly, your right - to remain such what you are. But then do not complain about malevolence of associates.


2. «The real businessman». Arrange two mirrors so that to see itself in a profile. Force itself not to smarten up: stoop, do not stick out a chin, take a mouth slightly opened, a sight the disseminated... Try to accept itself in this not smart kind. Difficultly? Means, it is not excluded, that you are not able to estimate realistically what you see to your partners in business.


3. «Reading of another's nerves». During reception, a banquet get accustomed to someone's person. Try to make so that your interest to the person remained for it not noticed. If it is impossible, means, at you, perhaps, not the delicate sight, and it limits communications possibilities. Hence, not importunate studying of the stranger by a sight should become for you ordinary exercise. (It is natural, it is necessary to look away there and then if you have noticed). But it still, so to say, preliminary test. The main thing consists in the following: try to imagine the studied person smiling, grieved, derisive, angry, frightened, full of tenderness. The one who is not able to imagine it (being based on momentary expression of the real person), possibly, not quite understands change of feelings and moods with the person of the partners, subordinates and especially competitors.


4. «Quarrel of the businessman». At casual quarrel (for example, during business negotiations) force, are right you or not, easy to say "is guilty" or "excuse", and then to become silent, how the partner swore. Examine a floor, a ceiling, a kind from a window. From the point of view of associates who is silent, behaves more adequately the one who rages so even its partners will take your side... Cannot restrain? Means, you either are too self-assured, or are too mentally unstable. Both that and another - a hindrance to dialogue. Give itself pledge: within a month (or year) to bring up at itself in similar cases calmness and endurance.


5. «A joke of the businessman». Test the ability to joke in intense conditions. To the one who during a banquet leans on you the case, tell with a smile: «I look, you go as an elephant». Intonation of this remark and the mimicry at a pronunciation should be rehearsed in advance before a mirror. Exercise has a feedback: if tone is taken correct, the partner, as a rule, picks up a joke. If the remark is not has gone right, or the partner is adjusted especially aggressively, there is a situation described in previous, fourth, the exercise, and you can use this situation for training and endurance.


6. «Approval of the businessman». Look narrowly at how any stranger works, and force itself to express it the approval. For example, the saleswoman, quickly and skilfully cutting cheese, tell with a smile: «it is dexterous at you it turns out». Cannot dare? Should be, you are inclined to contact of masks (the standardised level of dialogue) instead of emotional interaction with the partner. Tone of your approval should be not patronising, but friendly and hardly envious (me supposedly so to be able). Exercise has a feedback: patronising-indulgent notes to you will answer with a curve smile, an unfriendly sight or roughness. From here a conclusion: it is necessary to practise further.


7. «Reading of another's soul». In a circle of friends give itself the task nobody to interrupt and attentively to listen to the speaking. Listening, reflect: «Why he speaks it? Oars or pretends to be? It is sad or pretends? Whether has the latent purpose of the statement? What?» Imagine, that it are you. Imagine, what you see now his eyes. Be adjusted not to condemn thus the person and not to search for lines of "superiority" over it. Simply penetrate into its sincere condition... Does not leave? It is not possible to carry out own task? Probably, you are too absorbed by yourselves and in conversation listen more likely, than the interlocutor but as soon as at you it has started to turn out, you will see amazing results - another's soul will cease to be for you darkness.


8. «Refusal of the businessman». In dialogue with friends test the ability to give up to them in their request. For example, to you offer: «we Will go to restaurant», and you, having put on the important kind, answer: « It should be discussed comprehensively. Come tomorrow ». If the interlocutor shows you the indignation cease to act up and answer seriously. This small acting accustoms you to own a situation. So you win a small pause before the answer in difficult dialogue. During a pause the interlocutor checks itself: whether so about what he asks is required to it; you for these seconds have in a head the best formulation of refusal, it will sound is not insulting-is affable, and is quiet. (People not so much refusal, how much angry, hostile tone of refusal) offends. If this exercise is impossible to you, you, most likely, are not able to answer« no », not offending so, are compelled to follow the tastes of others (in particular, at manipulators). One more variant of exercise on possession of a situation: talking to other businessman on a theme, not too important for both of you, look at hours and easy tell:« Excuse, I hurry up, we will finish speaking next time ». With these words immediately leave.


9. "Will gain". If your business negotiations go hardly, try to translate gradually conversation about everything to spiritual level of dialogue. Start with possibilities of the concrete partner. We will admit, he is not inclined to speak about music or the literature as does not understand them, but it is not indifferent to the nature. Induce its remarks, and the main thing - attentive hearing that it has expressed the relation to a discussed theme. "Turn" to personal with revival of memoirs and undercover meditations marks occurrence of spiritual "tonality" in your negotiations; try to move further on this way, in turn sharing with the partner something personal... Be not able? You extremely badly carry on negotiations. There is a fear, that you are haughty and unreasonably lose possibility faster and more effectively to conclude the contract.


10. «The analysis of the circle of contacts». According to ancient wisdom, original comprehension of a sincere life of others is accessible only to the one who is simultaneously connected by friendly bonds (friendly, instead of official or family) at least with one: the coeval, the person is younger; much more youngly; the child; the person is more senior; is much more senior; the old man (or the elderly woman). This simple, but psychologically deep true as it is sad, much should open for themselves anew. Inability to maintain friendly relations, for example with the teenager or with the old man, can say about stagnancy and narrowness of your mood on others, that, perhaps, does you by not too interesting interlocutor in any situations.


The person, to whom without effort (or after the period of exercises) are given nine-ten of the resulted twelve exercises, can consider the nerves and feelings trained. Moreover, he will see, that such trifles seeming at first sight have sharply set its business uphill.