The director of own life 2.

Our habits so are arranged, that they do not wish to vary. Many people wish to begin «a new life» since tomorrow. But the majority of them not in a condition it to make. Really, when it is necessary to make something useful, there are reasons that it not to do. The originator of it is our own «the person of a habit». It switches on protective mechanisms against effort to begin a new life. It once again confirms, that our habits do not wish to vary. And among these habits habits of intellectual behaviour which operate us have special value. Sometimes under someone's influence or after perusal of the "clever" book we start to think of movement to the best. And it is valid, we manage to live some time "in a new fashion", however under the influence of habits all comes back to the circles. It once again confirms that fact, that refusal of habits is difficult and extremely unpleasant.


Any habit should not choke violent by. It means, that for disposal of an undesirable habit it is necessary to change itself so that to want useful, instead of harmful or dangerous. For example, for all the habit to "put off" is known. It is necessary to realise accurately, that it cannot be eliminated compulsorily. It will be possible to cope with a habit to postpone this or that business only when this business is pleasant to us. And it also is a nonviolent way of change of "the person of a habit».


Roughly suppressing negative habits, we risk to increase their force. When we combat harm, difficultly happens to refrain from violence though it and is counter-indicative. The more we would like to weaken force of a habit, the the smaller effort should be made over ourselves that it to eliminate. Determination to change itself to (operate) very often it is raised by violent self-control. As the main justification at unwillingness to change to the best many put an argument that «self-improvement I do not wish to increase difficulty of the life». They once again confirm with it, as it is difficult to change to "the person of a habit» and that any such change is the extremely painful. However the majority of people happens is compelled to change the habits only at threat to their well-being or a life. Someone undertakes the improvement only after a heart attack, having appeared on the verge of a life and death. Someone starts to train and reaches certain heights in sports to take itself from infinite abyss of champion race. Someone stops to smoke because of fear of amputation of a foot. Other examples too confirm, that many dare to change themselves only in need of disposal of sufferings, and it and is a violent paradigm of self-improvement.


The effort necessary for execution of any action, is defined by force of motivation. The motivation is that calls activity, induces the person to action. Experts confirm, that the more strongly the motivation, the is required efforts to definition of the purposes, activity maintenance according to the purpose less, on opposition to hindrances and attempts to stop activity under the influence of weariness and other reasons.

Thus, the more strongly energy of motivation, the it is necessary to put efforts less, the more strongly desire something to make, the «the person of will» is to a lesser degree involved. The motivation of activity decreases, when the purposes are defined by someone from the party. In those cases when the purposes are defined by someone another, we always feel necessity, that considerably reduces motivation of activity. If the person himself defines the activity purposes it is easier to it to execute it as they grow out of the free decision. That is why, that it was easy to make something, voluntariness is necessary. It is easy to do habitual business as all power of "the person of a habit» thus joins that allows to release an energy large quantity without special effort. « The person of will »in this case as though dozes and only sometimes wakes up slightly to correct« the person of a habit ». And when we start to do something unusual to us it is difficult as raise internal pressure, uncertainty, fear, doubt etc.

Only the requirement «on the verge of pleasant» generates real pleasure. The excessive requirement, as a rule, promotes fear occurrence before it. It can lead to that the person starts to be afraid of efforts in general. That is why it is necessary to aspire to that every time the effort was on the verge of pleasant. Only in that case when the effort comes to the end with pleasure, there is an ability development to make this effort.


Self-improvement should not be process of violence over self, it should be based on a nonviolence paradigm. Only in this case the given process will be directed on pleasure and pleasure reception.


Then it is easy to person to make something (to write the book to prepare the task to satisfy someone's request, etc.) when it is not necessary to force itself or compulsion is so weak, that becomes imperceptible in comparison with pleasure received from business. When I am possible to replace «should», «I am obliged» on «To me it interestingly to do», «I would like it», the person will execute any action with pleasure and sensation of happiness.


The person is that he thinks of itself(himself), i.e. depending on what "thoughts-indicators" seize the person, the person is that also.


Really, if we think of happiness, we feel happy; if we are visited by sad thoughts, we long; if at our thoughts there is a fear, we are afraid; if we think of illnesses, quite probably, that we will be ill; if we think of failures, in something for certain we will come to grief... In other words, in most cases we are that we think of themselves.


The image of thought is capable to generate a way of life. Here the major principle of reflexion is realised: «the similar gives rise similar». It means, that that "has settled down" in subconsciousness it is materialised in consciousness and behaviour of the person. Really, practice confirms, that the person is capable to rise, win, achieve success, only having ennobled the thoughts. Not casually in this occasion known saying says: «Tell to me, that you think, and I will tell, who you!»


As the person thinks, the result is that also. If mentally to reproduce a picture of adverse result it will start to seem more and more real. After a while automatically arise and corresponding emotions: fear, trouble, despair which result of own imagination is. It once again confirms position that as the person thinks, the result is that also!


The person pleases in a life not that it surrounds, and its relation to the surrounding. It means, that "quality" of a life of each of us is defined not by an objective situation, and our subjective relation to it, i.e. how we react to this situation.


Very often to the person difficultly happens to realise, that the fact (something objective) can be reflected in its consciousness in the form of its various opinions concerning this fact. For example, the person does not have money to buy the new car, is objectively, it is the fact, and here the statement: «There is no money for the car, and I cannot be happy» is only opinion, i.e. subjective perception of this fact, it can be and another: «it is very good - will not steal», «it is perfect - I will easy sleep at night», etc. the Choice - for the person.


Really, people are pleased not with events, and their relation to these events. The relation, from the point of view of a psychological explanation, is subjective, selective, estimated, to a certain extent a biased approach to an objective reality. The generated relation of the person to something is capable to execute specific function of a magnet, i.e. to draw to itself various events - as positive (good luck, success, etc.), and negative (defeat, failure, misfortune, etc.).


Let's give an example that, in what negative experiences of fear can be materialised. The internal fear, threat experience force the person to defend, they prevent to live normally, correctly to be guided in a life, as a result do the person by a potential victim of own fears. Fear of a mutilation, loss, illness at times so seizes imagination of the person, that it subconsciously (despite efforts of will) reaches for object of fear. The feeling of fear puts in action the biochemical mechanism of stress. The fear influences and all muscles, leading to their constraint and constraint, it discomposes brain hemispheres, as breaks, in turn, coordination and capacity of all organism. Thus, force of fear-in the fear. And if to replace fear with positive substances (a self-trust, healthy passion, optimism, etc.) That and our thoughts, experiences, feelings will turn in some kind of a positive magnet which will strengthen job of will and will allure good luck and success.


Thus, bad or good the person does events in own thoughts by means of formation of the certain relation to these events.


The relation to the surrounding validity forms a movement orientation of "the ship of own life». The relation can be compared to a wheel of our vital ship on which we float at validity ocean. On a wheel orientation will depend, where our ship will float: or to sunrise (to success, prosperity, happiness), or to its decline (to suffering, failure, disappointment). The wheel, as is known, copes with the help of a steering wheel of a vessel, a steering wheel is our subconsciousness, more precisely, those emotions and feelings which in him dominate. If on own captain's bridge there is a person (instead of someone another) and if he operates a steering wheel (the subconsciousness), it by right is the helmsman of the own ship.


Wise people define the necessary mood meaningly, in time using «the control button» in the form of the conscious thought directed on replacement from subconsciousness of negative "thoughts-indicators" and search of the moments of a life, connected exclusively with positive experiences.


The one who knows is wise not, and the one who is able. It concerns including abilities to think with light categories. Really, the nobility - does not mean yet to be able. It is necessary to realise knowledge in practice, to transform it into skills, to generate a habit in each stream of good and harm. Good and bad to prefer the positive. The habit represents automatic reception of reaction without reflexions and strong-willed efforts. The habit to think joyful, light categories is based, as practice shows, on aspiration in all to search and find good, constantly to cultivate positive thoughts, more friendly to concern people, deliberately to prefer light thoughts, to arrive as if success is inevitable. That the habit to be the is cheerful-succeeding person has been generated, psychologists recommend to try to live by these rules, at least, twenty one day, and only in this case the person will test a special psychological condition - a certain condition of hopelessness for success.


Follow an example in a life a sundial, i.e. keep count only light, only joyful, only to sunny days of the life.


It is necessary to do it at least because our life is not those days that there have passed, and those days that were remembered. It means, that it is necessary to remember, store and recall only those events which did us by is cheerful-succeeding and happy people.


Is conscious operate mechanisms of own mentality the wise person as only he can realise, that in his hands the considerable control not over an objective reality, and over the reaction to this reality, to concrete vital situations can only.


Who in that case this person: the actor or the director of own life? We will not impose in this case the answer to the brought attention to the question for it is not necessary to forget that it is impossible to learn to true as everyone reaches true!


Proceeding from read in the given section, formulate for itself the most significant positions. It is the extremely important for making, if you really wish to master successfully the received knowledge for the purpose of application in practice.